Adarsh Raj, 18, is a happy-go-lucky guy, usually silently judging people around him. He loves reading, writing dance rap, football and collects venomous centipedes (and preserve them too). He is working hard to elucidate the meaning of life, existence and the Universe.
Please enjoy his winning entry in OWAQ’16, A Love No Different.
The room shone fluorescent green, cramped with nameless machines shrouded by a sombre darkness. The door clicked and a gasp escaped. The door opened. The breathing became steady and deep and painstakingly shallow at the same time. The door clicked again, and the only noise to disrupt the sound of silence was that of an impending tension.
“I think you’ve had enough time to reconsider.” His voice was steadier than a leg on a landmine.
“I said, I think you’ve had enough time to reconsider your choices. I am not a man of patience, you know that better than anyone.”
“Okay, if you want really want to make it harder for me and yourself… “
Finally her silence broke. She stifled a sob, tried to speak, but stuttered, “I… I… Please, try to understand, I’m…”
“Enough!” The desperation, anger brimming with anticipation and lack of patience was dripping from his voice.
“I’M SORRY! I really am! But please, please don’t…”
“Enough means I don’t have any more time to waste. Everything depends on the choice you make. And there’s only one choice that I’m giving to you.” The steadiness in his voice was eerie, almost practiced. He meant nothing but business, definitely.
And that made her shudder and scared.
“Please, believe me. I won’t do bad to you, ever. I can’t even think of doing anything like that to you, I wouldn’t! Trust me, please!” said she, amidst teary eyed weariness. A weariness that took refuge behind her eyes after nights of tension and not sleeping or eating well.
“Okay. If you say so. But tell me. Do you love me? “ echoed his definitive steadiness around her timid persona.
“Yes. Yes I do. I love you and nobody else please believe me!”
She tried to give herself everything to appear persuasive, believable and to satisfy everything he demanded of her.
“Are you sure? And you won’t ever think of anything that may be against my wishes and interests? You won’t do anything that gives me pain in any way imaginable?” His authoritative steadiness boomed.
“Never! Never in a thousand lives, never in my dreams. Anything for you, anything you say, but please…” her tears flowed freely now.
“So you do accept. And you do understand. And still choose to be so ignorant, so stubborn,” he chuckled.
“Please, I beg of you to…”
“No, no, no. I’m sick of this. Lying and lying and lying. I’ve had my fill. Stop begging if you can’t do what I ask of you. What good a wife are you if you can’t fulfill your husband’s wishes. Better that I live a widower than this.”
“Don’t say that! Don’t ever say that! Please! Believe me for once! I love you! I love you with all I have! It’s you, and nothing beyond! I myself don’t know what I would give to see you good and happy, always! I’d do anything for. You! Anything!”
“Then kill me now!!”
He lifted his IV injected arm and weakly pointed to his life support machine. The doctor fell down crying, her aching heart leaking all the love she failed to put to good use, to save her mortally ailing husband.
Suffering made him give up any chances of resuscitation, but her love no different, hung on to every last breath until a new dawn.
#1 The dialogues to establish the scene seem very long. The ending was was nice though. Justifies the title, a love no different.
#2 Wow! Quite a twist in the ending. Love the element of surprise! The dialogue and suspense, justified.
#3 The story needs a lot of work on the “show, don’t tell” part. Justifies the theme and presents just enough to understand the plot. The end and the story is shocking as the way the husband has been described; it doesn’t look like he is on life support. Hence, a lot of work is required in perfecting the characters. Shock factor is fine, but the characters shouldn’t be unbelievable.
Read his another winning entry from OWAQ 1.0, Under His Skin.